


Peter Parker is NOT Spider-man! (Spider-man Defence Squad) (not clickbait)

by Amply_Brecht



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Flash Thompson Redemption, Flash-Mob Saves Spider-Man, Gen, Listen he stans spider man we all know it, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Spider-Man: Far From Home, Social Media, Spider-Man: Far From Home Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 07:54:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19763848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amply_Brecht/pseuds/Amply_Brecht
Summary: 2:14 pmFlash  @SpideyNo1Fan"Peter Parker is NOT Spider-man and I can Prove it! Flash-Mob RISE UP TO PROTECT OUR HERO!"





	Peter Parker is NOT Spider-man! (Spider-man Defence Squad) (not clickbait)

spideyno1fan DEBUNKING THE SPIDER-MAN PETER PARKER THEORY

What’s up Flashmob! This is your boy with an important PSA. Peter Parker is not Spider-man! I go to school with that dick and he can’t even talk to a girl without tripping on something, there’s no way he’s Spider-man he’s fifteen! FURTHERMORE Spider-man would never kill Mysterio, in fact I don’t think that guys even dead? When would he have filmed that video in the middle of the drone shootout? He couldn’t have! It’s an illusion to distract us from the truth! The truth that assholes who profit off drama and chaos like J Jonah LAMEson are trying to hide from you! 

Venice! Prague! London! Flashmob you saw me livestreaming from inside the Tower of London, where drones broke into the vault! They’ve been destroying monuments cause that’s how the mastermind is getting away with stealing the worlds treasures and replacing them with ILLUSIONS!! 

And now they’re trying to pin the whole crime on Spider-man to make sure no evidence gets left behind! Guys, Spider-man isn’t like the rest of the Avengers, he’s not some mystical magical figure, he’s our hero! He stopped a plane from crashing into Coney Island, sure, but we see him on the streets every day! He doesn’t just care about world ending threats, he cares about convenience store hold ups, and muggers, and just people who get lost on the street. He’s our hero and Brooklyn, we gotta trust him, we owe him that much!

  
Also Spider-man is shredded, he’s gorgeous, I heard he has a body that rivals the handsomeness of Thor. This is a picture of 12 year old Penis Parker getting nailed by a wadded up ball of paper in English. The two are not the same person, THEY just wants you to believe they are because he was on the stupid school trip that took us to the same places. Brooklyn! Flash-mob! Don’t believe the lies! We HAVE to defend our hero or the Government's going to get away with using him as a scapegoat!  


  
#flash-mob#spider-man #j jonah jameson can eat my entire left asscheek i will fight him myself i swear  


  
3,035,204 notes  


**Author's Note:**

> listen I just got back from the movie and was possessed by the spirit of flash thompson, thanks @phyripo for the tutorial on how to do tunglr.hell format. you know flash has snatched up the SpideyNo1Fan url, he already got it on Instagram.


End file.
